My Water Allergy

I know water is good for you and all -
I just think it's gross.
I'm trying harder to drink it though.

I was convinced I had the improbable water allergy - despite it being literally like one/billion. However unlikely, there was a stomachache that piggybacked most water ingestions : /.
Then, I learned what an allergy actually was. 
So now, I don't have an allergy. I was soooo sure, too!

Lemme tell you why I did/do like drinking water though...
I like to play with it.
This guy has fun when he drinks it.

A dentist told me it was bad to drink soda (or any sugary drink) slowly. That if you drink it slowly it will cause more cavities. "But, if you drink water, you can take as long as you like," he says.  
My little-kid-brain was like, as LONG as you WANT? 
So yeah, I played/play with it.

Enter: The Process ---

--- Swish it around, puff out my cheeks, squirt it between my teeth, swallow just a little, gargle, beatbox, make faces, try to talk, move my tongue around like it's "swimming" in the water, I chomp the water,
and then,
leave the rest in my mouth until it gets so warm and uncomfortable - it feels like I'm about to swallow lava.

Ya.
Whenever you see me drinking water - this stuff goes down.

Kids

For some reason, I really want kids.

This is a problem because I'm not sure how I am going to get them...

In general, I'm not too interested in dating. 

Now that we have pointed out the undoubtably obvious obstacle I have in front of me - 

let's talk about why I want them: 

• I love to love 

This is a pretty big factor actually. I find myself in situations where I cannot explain, or express how much I care for someone. Like, when I'm talking to a male friend I've known for a long time, it's almost taboo to tell him to "have a nice day," or "be careful." You can't just hug someone out of the blue without an awkward stare - and people hate to be touched. Say you're in a situation with a female friend where you want to reach out and touch them, there's so many ways for them to interpret it, that it seems best to bail out.

If there was a baby around, you would see me plopped down oogling, giggling and wiggling with the little guy all day. My hands would be glued to that newborn. I would be flying him around the house nonstop. Babies never seem to get enough attention. That sounds nice - at least hypothetically. 

• I love to teach

I've found that regardless of how good or bad I am at teaching, it's become a passion. Why don't I want to be a school-teacher? Well, 'cause you can teach in any field. I might as well combine it with something I'm passionate about. 

Now kids...all you do is teach them. Or more important, it's what you DONT TEACH them. This seems to be where parents fail. You shouldn't just teach your kids about the world - you should teach your kids how to teach themselves about the world. This is something I never learned. I feel it really holds me back, and if someone would of shown me the way before, I would be in a better position at this point in my life. 

• I want a family

This one is simple. It covers all my bases. 

Family (in theory) = love

This is the most beautiful thing I can imagine.

And I can teach my kids, my wife could teach me, her parents could teach us...and everyone develops as a unit. 

You know, this all sounds so simple that I don't even want to post it.
It sounds childish. 

But my thoughts are all over the place lately.

And I'm lonely. 

Next post is expected to be positive and coming soon!  

MUSIC

Yo yo!
I have been overloading my brain with music, as of late. I want to get a better feel for what I like. I'm pretty sure that when someone asks me what kind of music I'm into, I'm supposed to say electro-pop.
I say it like that, cause I still don't feel like any genre really belongs to me like most people suggest. I REALLY like music that you can dance to. Like a lot. That's pretty much where I'm at so far.
Here's 2 songs by Passion Pit that have that dance vibe I love so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0RvPYRRRbE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScC_pi3PJ9k

Philosophy/Finals/Excitement/

There hasn't been a moment where I felt blogging about depressing stuff would serve a purpose. When I first made this blog, I was afraid that is exactly what this would turn into. I'm actually really happy that - even though I haven't made a ton of posts - I have managed to update great things that have come to me or come to mind. Expressing myself publicly is a gift I cherish. What come out may not always be 100 % me...but I would say people get the right vibe from me, so I definitely can't complain :)

Finals are coming up! Ohmahgah! (prounounced: Ohh-mahhh-gahhh - not to be confused with OMG)
Need to summon inner-nerd tomorrow. To energy drink, or not to energy drink? I had some dandy experiences this semester. Learned a lot about how I should and could study. Learned how I can maintain a social life in the midst of the hectic-ness.

Ross + women ?
Nah. Dude, my relationship with women is so fluid. Not in the cohesive sense,

more in the lava lamp that spilled on keyboard,

you thought you got everything out,

you keep getting these sticky F and Q keys,

so now you try and mostly use the mouse and perpetually hate type things out,

then YOU DO type something, but like, you're missing all the F's and Q's,

you mean to say fart - but they see art,

so then you say, well just don't type words with F and Q.

Now I carry condoms in my pocket wherever I go. Seriously? what the uck? I can't even explain why.

Chile is making itself elusive. Like a smokin' cougar scopin' you on the other side of the bar. 

But I'm gonna get that cougar. Takin' her home. Or taking her to Chile? That would be epic. 

mmmmm....I liked this bloggg. 

Blue Chile!

Two big updates in my life - - 

First, I watched the Blue Man Group 2 days ago! If you know me, you know that I have been wanting to watch the BMG since I was 10...so it was kind of a BIG DEAL! I'd say it was an 8/10. 
Just sayin, 10 y/o me fulfilled his life goal and all. 

Second,
I'm GOING TO CHILE!
Was accepted into the study abroad program to Chile for a semester this fall. 
X-sited! 

Second .5, 
Last summer to do stuff before everyone breaks apart. 

 Need to:

-Learn to backflip

-Run some crazy race

-Go camping

-Learn Spanish or die in Chile

-Write more stuff in the blog

-Pass out Rosette's cards she gave me

-Go to Wet N' Wild

- ...and manage to work more and save up money. haha

Side note: 

Feeling pretty good tooooday. 

P.S. 

make movies damnit! 

Future ---

Big changes guys, big changes!

I have been going through some stuff lately. I haven't talked about it because talking about it is part of the problem, actually. Honestly, I don't know how to explain right now.
If I try -
I can say that I have learned a fundamental truth about my life:
I care much more for other people then I do for myself.

                                                           -Douchebag disclaimer-

This makes me sound so pretentious. Like,

 "Ohhhh, all I want is to help other people. It doesn't matter what happens to my body. Sorry that I don't think about myself - as long as I help other people, I'm happy."

Before you start saying I'm full of shit, please understand something. This is ruining my life. Seriously. A person that always puts someone else first tends to fall short in personal relationships and accomplishments. You might say this is up to debate. There are plenty of people (pastors, volunteers, teachers, etc...) that are identified as people that base their lives around making others a priority. Regardless, these people are expected to have a certain sense of self worth. This is paramount for them to do their jobs correctly and for other people to respect them. 

This is what I'm getting at. If I want others to have respect for me, it has to be apparent that I have a fair amount of self-respect and self-worth. This is not something I can see or feel in my life - as I know it. I have been unable to demonstrate this to myself. It has been depressing me for almost a year now. If I don't start thinking a little more about myself, I'm going to fall apart. There needs to be a point where I see what I can do on my own. For so long, I've thought that I would always make other people a part of my life, but if I become an empty shell without others...this will begin to permeate through to the outside world. Eventually, the truth will be realized. Not just by others - but by myself. This War will eventually occur. Preparation for this is already underway. 

I've decided to put all my efforts into studying abroad for one semester, possibly 2.
My next blog will be my thoughts on where I should go.  

Being Old

As an intermission between some other blog posts I've been writing, I wanted to give my opinion on getting old. 

I'm looking forward to it.

It's truly amazing to see how much people bash on old age. Many close friends do not want to live past 40. More to the point, they would go sooner if they felt they could accomplish what they wanted. Siul wants to be a professor/researcher, so he has his work cut out for him for a couple decades. In that line of work, you have to put in your dues for respect. On the polar side of that, there's Francisco who has thought of doing acting, playing in a band, or anything else he can go balls-out in his 20s and find an explosion of success. After riding that "success" a few years, the best (at least figuratively) thing to do would be to drop out - drop out of the radar, or literally just drop out of life. At the funeral people would say, 

"We remember him for all the great things he did. For the person he was. He left us too soon."

It's interesting. If you die in your 20s, assuming you lived a fairly decent life, you haven't really lived long enough to really fuck up. At least, that's one way of looking at it. You haven't brought children into this world and abandoned them (well, maybe you did, but that's another story). You haven't built an amazing career and let it slip down the drain. Most people would (by my best guess) just presume you had a mental defect. True, you could mess up what you have going on...but I know from personal experience, you seem to have a pretty good grace period. It's tough, but you can bounce back. The system seems designed that way. People will sit pondering...  Maybe he offed himself/herself because he/she didn't realize his/her potential? - or something along those lines. 

Don't worry guys, I'm not suicidal. Just writing at 2 am. 

Your 30s are important...they actually set the stage

 I always joke about how turning 30 is like the end of your life. In a satirical way, it kind of is. I feel like when you hit your 30s it's time to make something out of what you were given. Rosette (a 20 - something - yr old professional - or at least my personal consultant on all things 20s)  says she feels like her "biological clock is ticking." Good point, actually. Physically, you can hold onto your peak strength and body type for your 30s with hard work. In your 20s, you have access to quick actions, good looks, and style (not just fashion). In your 20s though, you really try to make a plan. It all starts to come together towards the end. You have all your school complete, you may be in a serious relationship, you have that house and car...now you just have to bring it together. Your 30s are where all the adult stuff happens (in my opinion). Going back to my joke,

"In your 30s, it all gets serious. Your job becomes your life. Get ahead. Get what you need. Your time is precious. No more games. No time for rest. "

-Me

Here's where I get excited. After your 30s, you can finally look back. When I hear a 29 yr old talk about "all the mistakes I used to make" and "I wish you knew what I know now"... is really B.S. in my opinion. You haven't had enough time to let it settle. When you're in your 40s and 50s, you can still operate in your own body, but your mind has had time to marinate in all the knowledge you've collected. Your life has molded your brain. True, you may not have as much openness to new things - but that's not always the case! You have constructed ways to perceive to such a large extent. There seems to be so much potential! This is the age where you can really teach your children. They will most likely be teenagers or young adults during this time. This is where they need your experience.

Your 60s and 70s - synonymous to the climax of the story. 

Your body is falling apart, but you know what matters. Many try to retire. Go where they always wanted.  All of their obligations have died off before them. They persevered. For what?! Nothing. Well, it will sure look like nothing to everyone else. At this point, they have brought their family close. They think of their children and grandchildren primarily. They think of politics (people age 50 and up have the highest voting percentages), hobbies, and things to see. The hustle and bustle is gone. It's finally time to focus on fulfilling oneself and significant other. 

Your 80s and up....the falling action. 

You remember ALL of the Lord of the Rings moves?? I especially remember how there were like 10 endings after they threw the ring in the volcano at the end of the 3rd one. We say we just wanted it to end already. But look at it this way - we've spent like 8 hours watching these characters develop and play out all the roles for nothing more than a few minute final confrontation - they should get a satisfactory ending; they should each get their fair share of spotlight. When you make into your 80s, you can't always communicate with the world the same way. Your senses are dulled. You've become slow. You need help with EVERYTHING. Due to my career path, I've seen very successful 80 + people. I've seen 80 years olds with better hearts than 30 year olds (electrocardiographically speaking :) ). One of two things happen to 80 year olds. By then, they have been reduced to basics. By this, I mean they are usually kind hearted, or heartless. They don't have the strength to tightrope walk between the two. Some brave the winds and are exceptionally warm or cold, but mostly, they have become an essence of what they always were;

A SUM OF THEIR THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS AND EXPERIENCES.

Can't wait.